Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML
Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a kinda wet feeling. When I put the lights on, I realized that my baby must have had a stomach bug and had puked all over the bed. That was when I realized that I had a stomach bug too and puked on my poor little baby. FML
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
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Top comments
DestinyNiya 33
Aren't kids lovely?
Toughsky 23
I wouldn't take it too seriously OP. Yeah she turned just to vomit on you but it really doesn't mean much. I'm sure she just didn't know what to do when she felt the need to vomit and just turned around.
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Comments (65)
AyOoDaLoBo33 10
You know, I actually don't think this was on purpose because I can recall memories from my own childhood when I was sick and threw up. I had no idea that it was going to happen until it actually hit me and it did. I would actually say odds are that your daughter didn't know she was going to throw up when she rolled over to your side. Naturally she would roll back over to her father, she won't want to lay in it!!!
Mr_Saikaly 35
Usually girls are into their fathers more than their mothers
BBeffedmylife 28
My daughter is a complete daddy's girl! I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who feels a little jealous sometimes. I hope your little girl feels better soon!
annarcheer 19
atleast she wants to snuggle with your husband. when I was little I didn't like my dad.
Oyas12 14
Ah, New York!
jawarston 24
daddy's girls are the best
tamesenicole 27
She has to be going through the Electra complex. It's similar to the Oedipus complex. Look it up if you don't understand one is for boys and the other for girls
at0micmin3r 23
Jealous of a CHILD? Are you serious????? YDI
reaxion 25
Getting jealous of your own child? What's wrong with you?
lummiiss 3
I'm sure she didn't mean it in a negative way