Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML
Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a kinda wet feeling. When I put the lights on, I realized that my baby must have had a stomach bug and had puked all over the bed. That was when I realized that I had a stomach bug too and puked on my poor little baby. FML
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
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Top comments
DestinyNiya 33
Aren't kids lovely?
Toughsky 23
I wouldn't take it too seriously OP. Yeah she turned just to vomit on you but it really doesn't mean much. I'm sure she just didn't know what to do when she felt the need to vomit and just turned around.
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Comments (65)
PyroSam 21
Sounds like you had a fun night!
Amuseic 3
Don't worry OP, this is completely normal! I mean that she rather snuggles with her dad - I'm guessing your daughter is around 4? Just read a little about Oedipus/Electra complex. You shouldn't be jealous, just handle it in a right way. :) Anyway, sorry for the vomiting part...
theinformer 3
Wasn't Freud on cocaine? Like constantly?
Rawr6591 21
what's your point
Gekko0110 6
You are right... The mother is envy, and so the little girl... :)
ThePols 11
This should be a Trojan condom commercial.
Plastic_Stitchez 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Didn't kick her out after she puked not even to clean up?
chlorinegreen 27
Are you saying you should reprimand the daughter because she was sick and unintentionally vomited? You should kick her out of the room when she needs you most for comforting? Sounds like you should stick to animals (though still not much better to punish them if they're sick) at least you can put them in the kennel.
tdawg91 17
Kick her little girl out for being sick? Don't breed... Ever!
asherm 15
I understand what you're saying. I'd want to clean the bed and not sleep in pile of puke all night.
Brandi_Faith 34
I think 21 meant that didn't she get the kid out of bed to clean the sheets? The way it's worded almost makes it sound like the daughter just rolled back over and they all continued sleeping (which I doubt, but I think that's what 21 was referring to. I don't think she actually meant to punish the kid for having thrown up).
bobslawnservice 16
Valuable lesson - children with sore tummies shouldn't sleep between mom and dad. Rather let them sleep at the edge of the bed with a bucket next to them. This is a mistake you only make once.
appletreee 30
No worries, OP, I'm a daddy's girl as well :)
twistedtwincity 17
Daddy's girl!
jsrf 8
Daddy's little girl
dave20012 15
Oh no that sucks she vomited on you. But She truly is a daddy's little girl bet she calls for him in the night.? But I hope she feels better soon
vikky538 29
no matter what kids be kids can't judge them...