Today, while blowing my nose after being bunged up for days, it finally unblocked. A solid slimy multicoloured booger roughly the size of a grape shot out, blew right through the tissue and landed on my manager's shoe. Hell hath no fury like a lady sneezed upon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went back to work after a nasty sinus infection. While I was talking to my manager, I sniffled, and a huge ropy string of green snot popped out of my nose. My manager pointed and shrieked, "OH MY GOD! EWWWW!", getting the attention of everyone in the office. FML
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML
Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML
Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
I hope for your sake that you've got one more round in the chamber, because forcing someone to wear non-matching shoes all day is simply unforgivable.
Glowworm56 27
That was an absolutely beautiful description of that booger.
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Comments (17)
Lobby_Bee 18
Boogerlicous!
Dave_Davington 34
I hope for your sake that you've got one more round in the chamber, because forcing someone to wear non-matching shoes all day is simply unforgivable.
Glowworm56 27
That was an absolutely beautiful description of that booger.
Zekfen 17
Tell it is ok, because she has two left feet and ugly f*ing shoes.
RichardPencil 32
That snot good for your career.
julfunky 29
But the RELIEF you must have felt.
jocamo 24
Yes the relief! Even blowing out a small blockage feels amazing, I can't imagine how that must have felt. Too bad it would have been ruined by his boss's reaction.
Spiritbird 17
Of all the dirty things that can happen between an employee and his lady boss..
ThrottleJockey 36
Nice snot rocket!
chessu 21
Size of a grape?!
DanielleinDC 34
Maybe from now on you should run to the bathroom to blow your nose if you're going to unleash snot rockets like that.