Today, I woke up and brushed my teeth as usual. My brother had decided it would be a good time to prank me and rubbed a ton of salt into my toothbrush. A while later, he stood outside the bathroom door repeatedly saying sorry. It was Epsom salt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML
Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML
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Top comments
blahblabbity 19
can someone explain, please?
Razell 13
Table salt is sodium chloride. Epsom salts are magnesium sulfate. Soaking body parts in Epsom salts eases muscle pain and possibly joint pain. Magnesium supplements that are intended for internal use are usually in the form of magnesium citrate or magnesium glycinate. Excess magnesium in any form can cause loose stool. Which is probably more than anyone here wanted to know about magnesium, but there you go.¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Comments (16)
blahblabbity 19
can someone explain, please?
T1A2Z3 35
As far as I can gather from the internet Epsom salt is a kind of bath salt and has a laxative effect when digested.
Glowworm56 27
Epson salts are not meant for human consumption. They are usually used for medical purposes such as soaking fingers and toes in it to help with infections.
AngryKitten 24
Epsom salts can be used as a laxative
Glowworm56 27
Oh, I stand corrected then. I used to think you couldn't--or at least shouldn't eat Epson salts. Basically I thought it was for external use only.
Razell 13
Table salt is sodium chloride. Epsom salts are magnesium sulfate. Soaking body parts in Epsom salts eases muscle pain and possibly joint pain. Magnesium supplements that are intended for internal use are usually in the form of magnesium citrate or magnesium glycinate. Excess magnesium in any form can cause loose stool. Which is probably more than anyone here wanted to know about magnesium, but there you go.¯\_(ツ)_/¯
zuckerburg 21
You get food grade epsom salts that people use, not only as a laxative but also in electrolyte-replenishing water (mixed with potasium chloride, normal salt and baking soda).
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Near as I can tell any non-scented, or otherwise modified for "Luxury" Epsom salts that you get in the first aid section can be used for laxative purposes. I buy Epsom salt all the time and the only time they haven't come with instructions for how to use them for laxative purposes is when I've bought lavender or Camomile scented ones which contained essential oils.
ViviMage 40
You can eat Epsom salts but they have a laxative effect. It's not however meant for you to salt your fries with! Well, you will feel cleansed inside after this. And I always wet the toothbrush before I use it. If something seems off I throw out the head and get a new one.
WHSKitty4ever 23
Not everyone has an electric toothbrush
Razell 13
Well, on the plus side, you probably won't need to supplement your magnesium for a while.
listicka 5
Nothing will happen to you. I used to brush my teeth with epsom salt solution. It's not supposed to be used internally because of impurities. Now I use magnesium chloride solution. I use magnesium supplements (magnesium threonate and citrate) every day to prevent constipation caused by surgery and also as supplement.
raven_of_azarath 35
Gives a new meaning to the term “***** and giggles.”
1ninjanina 7
Even if it’s a laxative, do you normally swallow your toothpaste? I think most people spit.
zuckerburg 21
You're not supposed to swallow toothpaste, and the amount of epsom salt you need to swallow for it to be laxative is quite a bit. YDI
GUYMAINE 16
super glue his lips while he sleeps