Today, I woke up to my balls being sucked on. Unfortunately, it was by a mosquito. I hate the summer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML
Today, it's the third day that I can't sleep. Somewhere in my room, there's a mosquito craving for my blood, and every time I'm about to fall asleep, I can hear it flying around. I'm covered in bites, even in places that barely see the daylight. FML
Today, the mosquito infestation is so bad that multiple mosquitoes sucked the blood out of the steak I was grilling and promptly died on top of it. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
Today, after good sex, we were lying in bed, just hugging and stroking each other, when the moment was ruined by a mosquito biting my nipple. I swatted it and we tried to get back to feeling good when another mosquito bit my husband right on the tip of his penis. Moment well and truly over. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
This sounds like the worst superhero origin story. Like, you could be Spider-Man's terrible sidekick, Mosquito-Balls. Your catchphrase would be "My balls itch, so trouble must be a-buzzing!"
nrg2395 5
at least you got the succ
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Comments (37)
buckdharma 38
Female mosquitos need a blood meal to reproduce. So, relax op, she got what she wanted and you'll probably never see her again. But, her babies may be back for child support.
Genkai 3
but he aint even nut
doemetoch 28
To be honest, I expected this FML to go in a much worse direction.
dudewho 10
I thought this was going to in a way sexier direction.
JMichael 26
Don't matter..still got sucked .
Calingaladha 21
I feel your pain...sort of. The mosquitos have been horrendous where I love this year. I've been feasted on with fervor, I just don't have the balls to be sucked.
Bearsmomma 30
I was with my husband at the lake cabin and we were out on the deck in the beauty of nature with noone around for miles. Romantic. I was giving him head and the mosquitoes attacked by the thousands! My backside was covered in bites...they even went up the legs of my shorts, so my ass was bit up too. I can totally relate to your pain. Then comes the embarrassment of itching in not so nice places while around others.
Lazureneku777 13
well that sucks
upsetpastry 10
Coulda been worse, coulda been your dad
trucker2 33
Inconsiderate to those who get no action at all....stop bragging
Trama1201 11
You should try rubbing some witch hazel on your nuts, it helps with the itching :)