Today, I woke up to my balls being sucked on. Unfortunately, it was by a mosquito. I hate the summer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML
Today, it's the third day that I can't sleep. Somewhere in my room, there's a mosquito craving for my blood, and every time I'm about to fall asleep, I can hear it flying around. I'm covered in bites, even in places that barely see the daylight. FML
Today, the mosquito infestation is so bad that multiple mosquitoes sucked the blood out of the steak I was grilling and promptly died on top of it. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
Today, after good sex, we were lying in bed, just hugging and stroking each other, when the moment was ruined by a mosquito biting my nipple. I swatted it and we tried to get back to feeling good when another mosquito bit my husband right on the tip of his penis. Moment well and truly over. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
This sounds like the worst superhero origin story. Like, you could be Spider-Man's terrible sidekick, Mosquito-Balls. Your catchphrase would be "My balls itch, so trouble must be a-buzzing!"
nrg2395 5
at least you got the succ
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Comments (37)
nrg2395 5
at least you got the succ
SauceySarah 30
I just choked reading this comment.
_EnderDoge 22
#14: On the balls? Bad joke, I know.
Jaraxxus_fml 15
Aw man that sucks.
Skycop_S 23
No.
SwitchHunter 12
Gotta suck em' all
cooltatgar 31
2nd worst place to get a mosquito bite. 1st being the dong.
GabenNewell2001 8
the dongerlord?
Lalala579121 28
You mean worst for the mosquito? Because everyone knows to never bite the Donger.
TheGamingGamer 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't let him suck out your babies!
Tripartita 45
This sounds like the worst superhero origin story. Like, you could be Spider-Man's terrible sidekick, Mosquito-Balls. Your catchphrase would be "My balls itch, so trouble must be a-buzzing!"
interesting33 37
''I know I have a power, I can feel it in my balls!" (Nathan, Misfits)
ArbiterOfFML 24
XD
cornyrob 33
Did you return the favor?
Unbansawsage 16
Doesn't matter had sex
EvilLittleMan 23
Better than waking up with Lorena Bobbitt down there.
MitchRapp 20
Sleep naked because of the heat? Or sleep with clothes to help with bugs? We better resurrect President Kennedy to find the answer.