Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, my wife finally agreed to try anal. Unfortunately, it was too hot in the apartment so I couldn't focus and I kept going soft. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, I asked my husband if we could rekindle some of our old intimacy, get back in touch with each other’s inner selves, that sort of thing. He looked confused, then got a big smile and said, “You mean we can do anal again? Why didn’t you just say so?” FML
Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
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Top comments
The_Water_Ninja 9
sounds charming...
datgamerchick 14
Sounds like we know what's cooking for dinner!
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Comments (136)
my_user_name 7
That's a dumb thing to say... I try to never kill the mood with stupid stuff like that. So I feel for you, OP. I've never thought of anal as "romantic" though.
pwilly 8
Bahahaha I'm sorry OP, but that's hilarious! Lol
jackeechan 10
Be careful that he doesnt put too much mayo on that krabby patty.
beclaurela 18
My mood would have been missing for the next six months.
thepretender10 4
i think it is kind of hard to be romantic given what is about to happen.
graceinsheepwear 34
Or is it romantic to be hard, given what is about to happen?
Sober1128 9
Disturbing on so many levels.
Baybiiie 11
Well he wanted to make a hot dog hahahahaha
pfft123 14
Sorry OP, but that one made me laugh my "butt" off.
graceinsheepwear 34
No anal for you!
cobra1213 2
i got a pretty good laugh out of this one
JennNoVa 8
I'm sorry, but when is anal EVER romantic?