Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, my wife finally agreed to try anal. Unfortunately, it was too hot in the apartment so I couldn't focus and I kept going soft. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, I asked my husband if we could rekindle some of our old intimacy, get back in touch with each other’s inner selves, that sort of thing. He looked confused, then got a big smile and said, “You mean we can do anal again? Why didn’t you just say so?” FML
Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
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Top comments
The_Water_Ninja 9
sounds charming...
datgamerchick 14
Sounds like we know what's cooking for dinner!
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Comments (136)
Seduced83 9
How cheesy, I would have said baby... Try and relax, I'll be going in nice and slow... And then once you realize how much you like it you'll want to be ridden like a bull.
sammyjanette 17
....and then you woke up from your delusional fantasy.
SpriteAndBananas 14
You found a keeper!
kayteakay 26
Wow.
newbrandomness22 6
in all fairness you're the one who married him.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
If you have not prepared yourself for that particular physical activity you will not enjoy it so don't. *On a side note that was kind of clever but definitely not romantic.
onorexveritas 24
lol xD sounds like something my friend would say haha
andiboo 12
I don't think that could have been less romantic to begin with... Why would you want something shoved up where you poop? Why would you want to stick it where poop comes from? I don't understand how either one sounds appealing. There's a perfectly good ****** to be used, yet you choose the butthole. It just seems odd to me...
graceinsheepwear 34
It's good your parents had the talk with you about where poop comes from. Sounds like it wasn't that long ago.
Laith 12
Trust me u will use it oneday;)
AestheticGuy 21
@81 obviously you are a virgin and dont understand about how sexual intimacy works, but heres some info, anal stimulation, for both males and females, results in strong pleasure, and its a different kind that that of the main genitals. So in essence, anal sex is a great method of sex for couple who want to up the intensity. Of course you should clean down their properly beforehand and use an enema kit (from your local pharmacy), so the 'poop from there' is irrelevant. Dont worry I'm sure one day someone will find you attractive and you will experience sexual conduct :)
Omniprism 15
Wouldn't it be a hotdog vs a hamburger. And tell him to go slow with lots of lube.
wolfgold2 20
"it could be better with ranch" ;)
theboy13 13
Tell him your a vegetarian lol