asnolt
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Sex Ed is broken
Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Bristol, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Prissy
Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML
unknown
Courtenay, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
You what?
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Worried dad
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
sorry, kiddo
Brussels, Belgium 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
Noname
New Zealand 🌶️ Spicy
Stop talking!
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
anonymous
Spring Valley, United States
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
kinky
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
younggrammy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Anon
How could you?
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Top comments
GiggidyPants 0
Jesus, I guess sex ed is important after all.
360XBOXFTW 0
wait... thats not normal?
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Comments (305)
Zombie65 0
I blame you for being a poor parent if she's that old to know you should have had the sex talk a long time ago I feel sorry for her; this is her FML not yours
Igor_g5 0
I don't think her dad should be discussing sex with her.
Zombie65 0
your opinion there's a lot of single parents that do it every day moms and dads
MellisaTatum 6
Why exactly was she sobbing, OP?
MellisaTatum 6
Why exactly was she sobbing, OP?
Fireworxxx 2
Blame it on yourself. My mom explained to me that stuff when I was six.
D11Churchkill 8
You should've just said that abstinence would get her prego. then tell every time she has her period that she had a miscarriage.
creepycreek 6
is op a man? single parent? where is the mother in this? have they already had the talk? is the daughter trying to pull a fast one over her father? stay tuned for the next exciteing episode of teen master baiters. lol fishing is fun.
reddwarf_fml 0
somebodysnot doing their job.... u, the school, friends.... damn is she living under a rock geez Kidd nowadays
CSRozell 4
you should have her put down... She'll never survive without you.
snipeshow 3
FYL for having a shitty school system. parents never needed to have the talk with me because we live in Canada.
JesterMarcus 0
You have failed as a parent. You know this right?