asnolt
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Sex Ed is broken
Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Bristol, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Prissy
Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML
unknown
Courtenay, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
You what?
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Worried dad
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
sorry, kiddo
Brussels, Belgium 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
Noname
New Zealand 🌶️ Spicy
Stop talking!
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
anonymous
Spring Valley, United States
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
kinky
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
younggrammy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Anon
How could you?
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Top comments
GiggidyPants 0
Jesus, I guess sex ed is important after all.
360XBOXFTW 0
wait... thats not normal?
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Comments (305)
Keyganator 5
you can get pregnant from a hand-job if it's given in a hot tub, cause of the water being warm enough for the sperm to travel in.
geeksaresexy 18
Pls tell me you are kidding?
nisey3313 11
If that's true explain to me how the sperm knows that it needs to swim through the water and up the woman's ******
geeksaresexy 18
The chemicals and heat of water would kill the sperm. End of.
madseewhy 3
lol are you serious
chosha_fml 27
#123 If they taught you about types of birth control, that isn't an abstinence only program. You know what 'only' means, right?
taydog99 0
oh yes you can :
theonlysweetpea 10
My mother gave me the talk at 3 years old. I had sex ed in 6th, 9th,
Cv2 0
That's a reflection on you, sorry to say. You must be a loust parent if you cant talk to your child about the cycle of life. Your daughter deserves better than that, shame on you.
kc1997kc 9
how old is your daughter? clearly you need to have the talk, since she is clueless. I knew that and haven't taken sex Ed or had the talk, but if I didn't know that I would need the talk too! this is an epic fail.
theonlysweetpea 10
I never recieved a puberty talk though... Have you ever seen an episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager?! Watch that
doodlez223 1
Parents MUST teach their kids about sex. I went to Catholic school, so all we got was abstinence because Catholics don't believe in using birth control. Imagine the disasters that could cause if parents don't teach their kids at home.
XxGuard 0
did you not let her learn at school through sex ed? As important as it is for a parent to teach their child, it's also important that you let them learn with kids their age, than it's not as embarrassing for them. My kids seem to do just fine and they've been learning about this at school since each of them were 9, and through LDS views. I've never had to talk to my kids about it. Also... teach her self-control. That in itself is SOO important!