Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my friend and I were having a casual discussion about sex. Blowjobs came up and my friend said she'd never dared to give one, arguing that swallowing sperm can make you pregnant. I then had to go on with a 30 minute argument with her on how that's not possible. She's 26. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregnant, she replied, "Is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML
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Top comments
niiick97_fml 3
what a dumbass
rattusrattus 19
I would say she should get together with the boys who think girls don't pee/poop/fart/burp... but I really don't want these idiots to breed.
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Comments (298)
Drackolee 0
write us back and tell us if she is pregnant.
allyssalopez 0
I don't get it?
LifeSucks974 0
lmao wow that best friend belongs on fail blog
Feedmyaddiction5 14
at least you're smart enough to know better and to ask questions
bms1996 12
oh my lord someone please help this moron
MRVOlivia 22
wow........I hope the dumbass isn't pregers! I'd feel bad for the baby
FadedMemories94 4
That's sad... Poor undereducated girl.
AEady15 3
Wow. Just wow
boryenko 2
Actually, she is not wrong. The first time a man ejaculates it is sterile and signals the tesicals to start becoming potent.
monnanon 14
the first time a guy ejaculates is not going to be the first time he has sex.
The_Khan 12
Also, it was her female friends first time.
TallMist 32
How cute. You think his first time ejaculating WON'T be before his first time.
CaroAurelia 12
Is sex education a joke in the Netherlands? Because it is in America and I think that's a common myth here. If so, it's not her fault.
TEZZ 24
Not really. We actually have functioning sex education, instead of a teacher screeching "ABSTINENCE!!" at you the moment you start asking questions about sex. My guess is she just didn't pay attention in class.