Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I tried to sneakily leave my boyfriend's house at 3 a.m. without his parents knowing. I had a flat tire. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML
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Top comments
be_happy1 0
Wow that sucks, you should definitely tell your mom.
samusfox 0
Blackmail him...
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Comments (280)
I_am_Nat 0
#45 are you the dad? in any case, you're still a nutjob.
JohnFR33M4N 0
#108. that is called trolling. that is the funny kind of trolling
Somebody52 0
You should soo tell her. Sadly, and in a way happily, she would probably be too upset to ground you for life? FYLx99999999999999999!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lmmmr 0
I seriously hope you told her. She deserves to know. Your dad is clearly a douche, both for cheating and for laying the responsibility of his secret on your shoulders. God, what a prick.
EasilyUnamused 2
#45, cheating on your wife is not "normal". Cheating on your wife is f***ed up. OP, Tell your mother! And I'm sorry about your dad being a cheater :(
xo3velyn 0
awh thats horrible, i have like no idea what i would do...
wh0regasm 0
holy shit thats awkward now you can get lots of stuff off of him
cordvaughn 0
Oh my gosh that is so funny, that is so High School, "don't tell, if I don't tell"
Incubus_fml 0
ahh that's horrible =/ FYL, i'm so sorry.
cyxx 0
Hahahahhahahahaha WOW I can't believe that no one gets that 45 is being sarcastic... OP - that sucks so much. I'm sorry. I really hope you told your mom.