Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
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Top comments
brewmasterg 34
...Why were you approaching a kiss with your mouth open? Are you a lamprey?
jasminea 0
....And he never helped?
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Comments (83)
MargieDrury 1
He was just getting you ready.
The_Hitdude 12
...and I think it's safe to say she failed that test miserably.
The_Hitdude 12
If that's what you're going to do over a piece of candy, OP, then I don't think your boyfriend's going to be very satisfied in bed...
boundbytheanimus 9
No Heimlich Maneuver?
wan2knowu 3
cute pic.
Sumo69 9
It's like a reflex when you get that close your boyfriend you just starting Inhaling
RodderstheLegend 5
Cuddling and kissing with sweets? Tell that bitch ass to man up and get down to businesss. Shit son!
minorcrisis 8
Haha definitely FYL. However, I'm sure your boyfriend and you are close enough (since you passing candy back in forth in your mouth) for him not to be grossed out or anything. And one day you guys will laugh about it :)
lil_ham1644 29
Why would he be grossed out by her choking?
immaMonsta 8
#3 Tell me oh wise one, how is it done?
immaMonsta 8
Well now that you've blown the practice round, I doubt you're ready for bedroom activities.
DocBastard 40
He should have done the Hindlick maneuver. Licking your asshole would have startled you enough to cough it right up. That Heimlich is overrated.
xxbobbyfinxx 0
I see what you did thar >.>
cradle6 13
Anyone who renews their CPR/First Aid will be trained in this new technique, as it has now become the mainstream method to combat choking! Also, they renamed the Heimleich maneuver (essentially due to royalty disputes) anyway.
biggerthanlife 0
Romantic