Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my Nana asked me to get her a book from her nightstand, but failed to specify which nightstand was hers. I stumbled across my grandparents' collection of sex toys instead. FML
Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML
Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML
Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML
Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML
Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML
Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I visited my 78 year-old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML
Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML
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Top comments
HappinessForFree 3
Aargh! Why the hell did you touch it?
lolomg69 0
You have some kinky grandparents.
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Comments (291)
FreebirdIII 1
why would you touch where your Grandfather's junk has been?
maxfonseca 3
why'd you press the nose?
snagglepaste 0
why would you touch that?!?!?!
SaharNar 0
heyy old folks can get down at night! it's not a crime ;D bwhahaha!!
zombiekitten87 12
and you touched it... why?
o76923 8
In the future, when you see sex toys that don't belong to you, don't play with them. Then you will only be slightly scarred.
madeingeorgia 0
and why in the world did you touch it?
phatdaddy62 23
Next time, ASK for a blanket!
Oneinsanelvr 1
You're just jealous that your grandparents have more of a sex life than you.
vanaathiel 13
Why oh why would you touch it?? That's what I want to know!