Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be getting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend, after three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he said, ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me.'' FML
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He decided to lock me in the apartment until I say that we are in fact still together. This is the 4th time he has done this. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
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Top comments
robc32ca 4
you may need to get a restraining order
disco2466 8
throw rocks at him
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Comments (121)
supermegan 0
you should probably unplug your phone...
Miss_Michaela 10
Restraining order. Block his number. Tell him he's pathetic as well.
FlashBurn 13
Two words. Paintball Marker. I bet he'd be feeling it the next day, just don't aim high unless you want to put an eye out too.
WhoLikesPie 14
only noobs call them markers......
Judus_beej 0
at least he wasn't lying lol.
DjeePee 25
And a stalker is born!
xStiina 0
1000 years of pain :D
smokeymcpottt 3
That wouldn't have happened if you had middle eastern parents. My ex once parked outside my house for hours...until my dad ran down with a cane in his hand. Never saw him since.
jakeisawake 3
It would be worse if she had redneck parents. The entire inbred family would have loaded shotguns, and their hunting dogs chasing down the stalker stating how it's the uncle's turn to have a chance with Ms. OP. Actually, I don't think it matters what race or stereotype her parents are; if they are concerned or irritated by the ex, then I'm sure they will take care of it. Maybe OP doesn't even live with her parents. It's not clear.
iaa69 0
middle eastners are more passionate and tend to take matters more personally. trust me I lived in both worlds.
WhoLikesPie 14
award for the most ill-legit statement I've witnessed this week goes to you #173
pip74205 9
Call cops. Get restraining order. They give you a hard time, tell them you fear for your safety and will defend yourself if he continues what he's doing. That way, if the cops don't do anything, they had fair warning and any violent action you or your friends/family take against him can't be prosecuted.
emilyaust 8
ugh. I had a simillar pain-in-the-ass ex...cut his gap year trip short and turned up on my doorstep. Wouldn't leave for hours and tried to get his stuff into my house, all the while constantly calling and texting. It went on for WEEKS...good luck.
rockyraccoon28 8
so encouraging.
SakeOfSacrifice 0
pessimistic much?
charlesnk7 0
use him as a target for a paintball gun
ShadyFTW1 0
No, a BB gun.
JManHobbs 0
No, a gun.
zazooftanzania 4
# 28 thats a really cool pic
zach5432 3
use a cross bow ;)
SakeOfSacrifice 0
or if your in america; use golden rule that solves all problems; BOOM head shot.