Same
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML
Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML
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Top comments
crimsonprodigy 15
The next time he wants to have sex, give him a box of Q-tips.
CatLady4Lyf 30
Who doesn't enjoy some good Q-tip pleasure?
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Comments (83)
Enslaved 38
Well, eargasms are pretty awesome! My BF used to think I enjoyed "ear sex" because every time he tried to put it in my mouth, I turn my head.
spoo 24
AWESOME!
ohSNAPyall 27
Givin em eargasms with my mellow waxin
False_Stupidity 42
Was that so you could hear him cumming?
sullivankeara 25
That was unnecessarily rude.
mfmylifesrsly 30
OP ask your boyfriend why that is. Maybe y'all have different tastes in sex. Find out if y'all like some of the same things. Spice it up!
VeganDarkLight 31
Y'all? I doubt there are more than OP and her boyfriend involved in their sex life... at least I hope so. But you're right, communication is the key to a good sex life.
mfmylifesrsly 30
What the **** are you talking about.
VeganDarkLight 31
Your use of "y'all" when it makes absolutely no sense. Sometimes I can't help being a grammar nazi.
kurodansei 16
ya'll can refer to just two people so your correction makes no sense.
VeganDarkLight 31
This is new to me. I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my comment, I just learnt it otherwise and I still think it sounds strange. Then again I'm not from an English-speaking country and everybody makes mistakes (even though wrongly correcting someone is pretty awkward :D). Learnt something new today, sorry again!
mfmylifesrsly 30
It's okay Vegan. Y'all is a word used typically in southern states in America :). Now you know.
Rawrshi 25
To all the people saying to make jokes about his dick or implying that OP should dump him... what??? If your partner says they enjoy something more than you/aren't enjoying sex as much: Communicate. Ask if there is something you can do that they would enjoy or if you're doing something they don't necessarily care for. Or maybe they just don't really care about sex. It happens. Don't insult or dump them; especially when this sounds clearly like OP's boyfriend was joking. That's the most petty, immature bullshit ever. Communication is, in fact, an important thing, people.
Econforthwin 15
Thank you Dr. Phil. I didn't read all of your Harry Potter book long comment but I can tell you don't like people responding to a joke with a joke.
tantanpanda 26
Half of the comments aren't joking, so I'm not sure what you're reading. The comments like "op you should break up with them" are actually serious unless something precedes the phrase with sarcasm. You can't just assume all the comments are jokes.
Econforthwin 15
The break up ones obviously are overreacting but if OP's BF is joking which I would assume, then trying to over communicate is unnecessary.
MrConcise 35
If only Harry Potter were truly as short as that comment, Emma Watson would be a nobody. One can only dream.
randompizzaguy 17
People can get better at sex, people don't get over their penis being called a qtip. Sure the dude was rude, but he was speaking his mind. It's always awkward to ask someone for better sex.
foxwasalamb 24
if its "awkward" to tell your partner the sex would be more enjoyable on their part if you did ____, you're not ready or mature enough to have sex.
interesting33 37
That is a very rude thing of him to say. #19 is right - communicate - he should be able to suggest improvements without being completely rude. Although I don't know the context, it could have been a joke. I hope you are ok OP and these things can always be improved on - but it sounds like he needs to work on his communication skills here?
barfcannon 24
You are a wise blob fish
interesting33 37
Thank you. Being literally at rock bottom where light does not reach gives me and constantly under pressure means I come out with some pearls of wisdom occasionally :P
willyjac 17
What the **** is he even using the q tip for? Sticking it in his ass?
laden_swallow09 35
C'mon, genius. Even you should be able to figure this out.
interesting33 37
I can't figure it out either - unless it is literally using them on the ears...
MuyBonita22 14
Wow I posted a FML just like this before and it got rejected-_-
alindori 2
Not gonna lie, eargasm Q tipping is right on the same level as sex with my girlfriend as well. Not that she isn't good, it's just that the penetration of the ear is just AS good! *runs and grabs qtips* Mmmmmm
buckdharma 38
Rotten job > cotton swab.
people_annoy_me 23
How charming...