Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. As I was clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
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Top comments
N_aero 0
Even worse... as a guy it cuts of the flow of blood there... NOT GOOD... unless u have a particularly small package. In that case, carry on, nothing to see here.
Arbitrary 0
Why were you sitting like that in the first place...?
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Comments (67)
onluckiest 0
i thought it meant cl*t but thats just me. either way. wtf
Felonia 0
Eh. That's what you get for riding on the subway. It's more fun being the crazy person, try that some time. :] helpful suggestion.
happygoluckyhh 0
A guy...sitting like that...gay.
c3ns0r3dn4m3 0
hahahhahah true !! ^^
jaybrown 0
How do you do it if you have balls?
Linkin5 0
wtf? "Today I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laugh and made sexual comments about him that we thought he couldn't understand, he asks me "First time in Moscow?" FML" Russian Federation. Serious, wtf, so ur a guy gay who wanted to nap on an old businessman? okay...
reem2013 0
The only logical reasons are the following: 1) Either you look like a girl, and have a tiny package. 2) She is .. Well .. Losing it. 3) Someone dared her to do that.
daniisme 0
emos are hot!!
My2864 1
ydi for sitting like a girl o_O
remieshine16 0
Number 1, that lady is f ed up. Number 2, get a haircut or lose some of ur man boobs or get some muscles or something. it is ur fault if u look like a girl.