Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. As I was clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
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Top comments
N_aero 0
Even worse... as a guy it cuts of the flow of blood there... NOT GOOD... unless u have a particularly small package. In that case, carry on, nothing to see here.
Arbitrary 0
Why were you sitting like that in the first place...?
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Comments (67)
mleeb 0
can you please learn how to write. if "examinate" isn't a word, why would you expect "examinating" to be. btw, you read ON the subway. i guess she meant to say crooked c*ck.
EquallyRacist 0
If you are going to criticize people at least learn to ute punctuation and capitols. Otherwise keep your wannabe mouth shut.
johnnycashe 3
*use *capitals
Pudgygrunt 0
lol #15. British people like some **** with their tea, indeed. wonder which they like more though..
klimpomppp 9
20-as a British person, i have to say...tea!
girrl 0
anyone other than me think c**t might mean cl*t and not c*nt?
lil_ham1644 29
But how would that become crooked?
Miss_Whipped 43
Very carefully.
Zic_fml 7
You should have left your wig at home!
benjimina69 0
who even says that? wtf?
MikeRat 0
I'm not a fan of old people, but I always think it's hilarious when I see a man sitting like a girl.
shorgenfunkel 0
Your life is ******, AND you deserved that one. I'm a long haired dude too, and it happens. Deal. Laugh.
HOLLAcaust 0
YOU GOTTA LOVE OLD PEOPLE. Did she tell you how much milk used to cost back when she was a girl too?
EquallyRacist 0
You've*
bubs_AKA_vermin 0
what a crazy granny. 15, you just reminded me of a thing that went like "scheming scheming scheming...scheming scheming scheming...scheming scheming scheming...BECAUSE WE'RE F*CKING C**TS!!!"
mikeyy_fml 0
um, are you a transvestite?