Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. As I was clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
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Top comments
N_aero 0
Even worse... as a guy it cuts of the flow of blood there... NOT GOOD... unless u have a particularly small package. In that case, carry on, nothing to see here.
Arbitrary 0
Why were you sitting like that in the first place...?
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Comments (67)
fuzzywazzy012 0
I dont get it?
EquallyRacist 0
Please learn to use periods if you're going to use other punctuation.
EquallyRacist 0
an* But,* you*
ryanchew3 0
huh... wow
victorioustunnel 0
did she say "clit" or "****"? **** you op for making unclear. just write the damn word!! dumbass
Miss_Whipped 43
I know I'm commenting over 4 years later but the FMLs undergo moderate moderation. Words may be changed by the time they get to be published to either make the FML more clear/concise or less offensive in wording.
smartalek 2
examining, you mean?
shea579 2
What the **** does his punctuation matter? You can read it can't you? Grow up.
iBiteRoses 22
"Examinating?" LOL wut
fail_gurl21 7
pfffttt.....HAHAHAHA! that sucks tho OP
kglo 7
Dude, why would a man sit with his legs crossed like that? Doesn't that crush their junk?