Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
sheerem 7
She probably just had diarrhea and didn't want to crap her pants in front of you. Don't take it too seriously.
zachlibby 4
Nothing more romantic than a fart.
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Comments (188)
OneGirlsLife 20
*shrugs* We can't be cute all the time.
ReptarTheStar 6
BUT GIRLS DON'T POOP.
ebonyirony 29
Yup. We do. Mind blown?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"I gotta take a real fast dump, do da do da Boys can't know that girls go poop, oh the do da day."
ReptarTheStar 6
YUS .____________.
gracehi 33
What the hell are you people talking about? I NEVER poop. Unless you count the rainbows, butterflies, and glitter that falls out the back of me sometimes.
AKiDNamedJoHn 12
You gotta go when you gotta go
MagicStallion 9
.... I thought it was When you gotta go, you gotta go. I'm not OCD. :0
ImBrent 8
I don't see why this is an FML, if anything it should be from the girls perspective.
debbster7 18
Maybe she just had to go to the bathroom? Just a thought. :)
fbear10 5
Really random thought but i love your picture :)
ArrickMorris 4
So she probably just had to go.
AmericanJedhead 10
Oh god... at least she feels comfortable around you??? But really OP, that was quite sweet of you to do. I mean, even if she didn't fully appreciate the gesture, at least you tried:)
ImBrent 8
How do you know she was just being comfortable around him? She probably had stomach problems that she couldn't control.
angeluv_2014 22
Exactly! You should feel bad for her. Imagine how you would feel if you wanted to enjoy a romantic moment with your man and you got really sick with the runs and couldn't help it? Seriously- have some empathy!
JustKittyKat 24
Some bodily functions cannot be contained. She couldn't help it. My girlfriend taught me to be okay with natural functions in front of her. I think all couples would benefit from not thinking it's the end of the world if their partner passes gas in their presence. I just wish she wouldn't baby talk me every time one slips. Hahaha :)
perdix 31
If you can get past the farting, you are most of the way to not ever falling apart. (Farting is the REAL cause of most divorces.) I suppose you would have preferred she shit her pants while listening to your entire boring, maudlin speech.
Helloilike_lacro 8
That sorta fell apart
br0ccoli 15
I'm sure that as she walked away, you told yourself, "Damn I love this girl. She's got that je ne sais quoi. I love it when she talks dirty. Rawr."