Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
sheerem 7
She probably just had diarrhea and didn't want to crap her pants in front of you. Don't take it too seriously.
zachlibby 4
Nothing more romantic than a fart.
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Comments (188)
AznSamoan52 10
Yet another fart bender lives among us. I like your girlfriend's style, Op.
linkinpark98 24
If she is able to openly fart in front of you, and not feel uncomfortable, that's a sign that she already loves you. :)
Calyx_fml 22
Shit stinks. But not as much as your presumption.
joee182 3
If she can fart in front of you and not be embarrassed that's love buddy.
slurshies 11
..yes, so did we all, no need to assure us that yes indeed, one more person did understand a blatantly obvious pun
FeedMyChickens 0
maybe you should've brought some beano too
missababgaga 19
Maybe she has a medical condition that causes the immediate need to use the bathroom. I actually have one myself, but would have been a lot more graceful about it...
astralvagan 20
Excusing herself to go to the bathroom was graceful, I would think.... Would you rather she had on a tutu and did a ballerina dance all the way to the bathroom?
MagicStallion 9
114 looks like a man :'D
jcd824 5
Maybe her fart was just that sweet!
4everblackjack 10
Uhmm and? If you never want to "fall apart" then get used to it. We don't shit rainbows..
spiceywolfe 2
Nature calls OP. Just an unfortunate coincidence. Your gesture is probably appreciated regardless and she probably felt just as bad as you.