Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
sheerem 7
She probably just had diarrhea and didn't want to crap her pants in front of you. Don't take it too seriously.
zachlibby 4
Nothing more romantic than a fart.
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Comments (188)
immason 0
wow perdix thats kindof harsh lol people get sensitive about love youre gonna hurt ops feelings
bsmith9942 11
He's right though. If she bolted that quickly she was prolly sick to her stomach and couldn't wait.
immason 0
yeah i agree 100% but op sounds insecure perdixs comment isnt gonna help lol
olpally 33
Yes op, girls fart and go to the bathroom... Moment somewhat ruined. Just let her do her business and get right back to what you're going to say.... Lol. Everybody poops op!! :D
zuzupetalsYO 11
Was she saying, "aww, that's so sweet" about the fart? Or your words OP. Cause farts can be pretty sweet. AND YOU KNOW IT!!
DarkDaedalus009 8
Farts make everything romantic
DarkDaedalus009 8
Farts make everything romantic
CheeseTron 15
Upper **** her
Lucysky 7
Gross. You might want to rethink your forever after. What a pig.
bsmith9942 11
Yes, because I'm sure you've never been sick to your stomach. Grow up. It happens to everyone at some point or other and not always at a convenient time.
XxWolvesBitexX 8
A pig? Because she farted and had to use the restroom? Are you kidding me?
ReptarTheStar 6
Because a girl farts and has to use the bathroom makes her a pig? Look, I know girls don't poop and all, but just cuz they fart doesn't mean call them a pig
TheFamilyElf 17
When you gotta go, you gotta go. Poor girl was probably mortified.
xpaulatanx 10
Don't be put off by that, she just got done emulating Epic Meal Time.
HSOMGF 5
Sounds like bad timing, so don't take it so seriously. Her farting in front of you is actually a good sign.