Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML
Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML
Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized Build-a-Bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear, "We should break up" instead. FML
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML
Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML
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Top comments
plopyer10 8
You shoulve ****** the wind up
tigerbabe15 0
Aww poor teddy bear did he get hurt?
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Comments (265)
robc32ca 4
Teddy couldn't take it any longer and jumped.
ikickgingers 15
Your life long friend (Teddy bear) even told you to jump. Cut that ******.
SirWrangler 5
Poor you, I'm sorry
aliadnan708 6
That's funny/messed up! Poor Teddy bear tho
bizarre_ftw 22
Well you talk to teddy bears but you're old enough for these kinds of issues....... I'm just kidding, seriously you should call a hotline
gracer_fml 0
I've noticed you comment an awful lot, and either people ignore your comments or they're blocked because people said they were negative. Perhaps you should find something else to do besides comment on FML?
bizarre_ftw 22
I had a migraine yesterday, FML was taking my mind off it
gracer_fml 0
So you comment incessantly? All right, whatever floats your boat...
mrahhhhh 21
This obviously means you should fall head over heels in love with someone else. Yeah, go with that reason.
linette5683 8
lol only if it was that easy after a break up.
nc21690 19
That sucks but pretty weird what happened to your teddy bear..............
lindseyluvszac 4
Your an emotional wreck, stop thinking too hard into things
laden_swallow09 35
151- I have been, and I'd say exactly the same thing. Emotions are overwhelming and the mind isn't thinking clearly just after a nasty breakup. When the mind isn't thinking clearly, it leads to regretful and even dangerous decisions. Ever hear that rule that you shouldn't go grocery shopping while you're hungry? You start buying impulsively to try to sate that need in your life. OP's going through something like that, by a factor of ten. So yes, OP SHOULDN'T look too far into things. When I first read the post, I figured the FML was the realization that she was pouring her heart out to an inanimate object when it'd be more constructive to talk with someone else, as in, another human being and garner some feedback.
Calyx_fml 22
YDI, in the best way.
natashapower 5
So funny