Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML
Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML
Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized Build-a-Bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear, "We should break up" instead. FML
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML
Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML
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Top comments
plopyer10 8
You shoulve ****** the wind up
tigerbabe15 0
Aww poor teddy bear did he get hurt?
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Comments (265)
bizarre_ftw 22
Was it a chair? :D
mylifepwnz 0
Your Teddy bear fell and it's an FML because of that and not the breakup? WTF
bizarre_ftw 22
The irony and fact that the universe has it out for her makes it funny and worrisome, the exact recipe for FML
Splayd 10
This FML is not ironic. Not even close. Not even similar. Not related in ANY way to irony. What on earth do you think irony means? "A bad omen"? "When a teddy bear falls"? "A coincidence"? I mean, what definition of irony could possibly make this scenario ironic?
iLuvsIt 10
you heard the bear. an hero.
leadman1989 16
Everything about this FML becomes so much more dramatic when you consider it's French.
DarkCerberus 2
No! dont listen to ur teddy! ITS NOT THE ANSWER!!!!!
maloriewatson 3
I guess that meant that he would have died right then and there, if he went thru the breakup..
autruchette 0
The girl is French and there's exactly the same story on the french site...
Sirin_fml 47
As you will see if you use the website version, this one was translated from VDM to share with the English speakers.
LilliPage 17
That would be why there is "Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!" right next to the "You Deserved It" option.
cinder2theblock 0
This fml is so retarded, just cry to a Russian roulette player next time
1himfan666 0
Do not do it
corrinaswan 0
I laughed when I read this. How old are u and u talk to a Teddy bear? Try friends. Or a shrink. well sorry about the break up.
justanotherhuman 21
Maybe friends weren't available; maybe shrink was too expensive. Maybe bear is among OP's first cognitive memories of a connection/kinship to something outside self. Maybe now-former relationship was so significant to OP she has to go back to that kinship to re-establish any remote hope of being able to trust/share vulnerability again. Maybe maybe maybe. ...personally I think this was all preordained the second OP decided to trust a bear >.>
corrinaswan 0
I find it sad maybe call her mom. Try a journal, you can get one at the dollar tree.