Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Today, after my at-the-time partner got in a car wreck with minimal injuries, I drove two hours and got a week off classes to take care of them on hand and foot, they are currently my platonic roommate and I nearly broke my foot… and they keep acting annoyed when I ask for something because I can't walk. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML
Today, it's been almost 24 hours since my wife bent down and couldn't get back up. After laying in bed all day in agony with a bad back, an ambulance was called. She still currently can't stand in the hospital. I have two kids to look after and am supposed to be in work tomorrow. I have no idea what to do. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Today, I saw someone get out of a car without putting it in park. I sprinted over and jumped in, trying to stop the car before it went down an incline. I didn't make it. I now have a dozen broken bones, need surgery, and was just informed I'm being held responsible for the wreck, since I was in it last. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
LarryLaDouche 13
Dump him. Come at me OP!
mackdeezy 22
Lol at your username OP. Youve anticipated a common response from the FML community. Well done.
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Comments (76)
refticon 31
Atleast the guy sounds like a fun bloke ! Better some fun than bored & responsible people :-)
SneezyBear 27
there's a difference between fun and stupid. You can have fun without being stupid. I don't even see how he's necessarily fun, planking is not fun or funny, as far as I can see he's just stupid. And that is not attractive.
sgtcxelite 11
"Dump him. Come at me, bro," I say as I cower behind the safety of my laptop.
mgrabi01 10
Divorce the idiot!!!
Anubis_81 21
Dump him. What you gonna do? YDI.
1dvs_bstd 41
Peter Griffin, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland ... JACKASS!!!!
tf5f89 7
Planking on top of a moving car speeding down a hill? Your husband is lucky to have gotten away with nothing worse than a broken leg.
m3lyc 18
What a douchebag...
kalbrek009 20
Your husband, you say? You mean they let adults marry 15-16 yr old boys where you're from?...just kidding, but planking is for teenage dorks..not full grown adults...tell him for me.."silly asshole, planking's for kids".
captain_howdy171 3
your husband is a dumbshit
FlashBurn 13
Dump him! Just kidding... Start calling him the Hobbler and make fun of his broken leg. I mean seriously, doesn't he know that planking is so last year?