Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML
Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML
Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML
Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML
Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML
Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
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Top comments
balest22 0
well that's okay. I mean how would u know that though. Every1 makes mistakes like that.
BADDiam 4
well all u can do is to delete that badass comment..
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Comments (165)
princessjazz 0
cheesy sense of humor. XD
DarkHelmet 10
yeah u deserve that one playa
Mgr11 3
lmao awesome u rock dude
saIty 17
hey, I think it'll be funny if you get round housed by Chuck Norris.
greekamericanpri 2
ppl now a days need to realize that shit happens and to get over stuff it's just a joke it doesn't mean u have to cry every time some says something not nice
Virginia6810 16
pun intended?
greekamericanpri 2
what r u talking about
almostalbino 10
Shit... get it?
marinaim 17
Hey, it was a pretty generic status, so fml. But also, ydi because that was a lame comeback anyway.
Chilloa 0
Obviously everyone who thinks you're a heartless dick are facebook addicts. How are you supposed to know that about her dad if you didn't read the previous posts?
MrSassypants 34
Of course a dick has no heart. That would suck. You get kicked between the legs and not only does it hurt worse then normal you may die.
MrSassypants 34
37 I'm don't think I know what the cactus you're talking about.
tennischik211 11
that is so awkward