Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my favorite song is about blow jobs and crystal meth. FML
Today, I discovered that one of my favourite, relatable sad songs is actually a song about gay sex. FML
Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML
Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML
Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML
Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
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Top comments
KaelaKhaotic 5
What song was it?
bustub2 8
"I'm a Little Teapot" is my guess.
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Comments (187)
TheJashinist 8
Sounds like "Relax" by FGTH. :)
bansheeshee 0
Man, that's a pain in the ass.
bobchickenfart 5
lol i can imagine you as a toddler singing "**** me right, i'm so tight!" i'm ******* wierd.
Rxoxdx 0
******* funny
richieflow 3
That ***** priceless right there
tookie12345 7
Least your meantally prepared now right?
Goatinsfriend 8
We never realize these things about songs until years later.
athenseric 6
Hit me baby one more time?!
techie107 2
My fav was about using dirty talk to turn a girl on...
Calyx_fml 22
Sweetest Taboo by Sade?
l0v3p4in 7
It happens to the best of us. I used to sing Timon and Pumbaa's skit song in the Lion King [when they were trying to provide a diversion for the hyenas]. I'd rewind that one scene over and over again. Once it came out in 3D, I watched it again and realized they were offering Pumbaa as an entree while Timon was "dressed in drag."
psuedodragon 23
I always knew that they were offering Pumba up as a meal and the hula skirt was kind of obvious... Heck, when Simba says they need a distraction Timon even asks (sarcastically) "What? Do you want me to dress in drag and do a hula?!" The "OMG, really?" from that song has more to do with the whole "If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat/Eat my buddy Pumba here because he is a treat...Are you aching (yup yup yup)/For some bacon? (yup yup yup)..." Am I the only one that thinks this makes it sound like they want Pumba to get some action?