Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out that my favorite song is about blow jobs and crystal meth. FML
Today, I discovered that one of my favourite, relatable sad songs is actually a song about gay sex. FML
Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML
Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML
Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML
Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
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Top comments
KaelaKhaotic 5
What song was it?
bustub2 8
"I'm a Little Teapot" is my guess.
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Comments (187)
MandyMeow_fml 18
That's extremely unfortunate...
Furrywhiplash 14
I get so unnecessarily pissed off when kids sing inappropriate songs when they have no idea what the songs are about... I'm sorry OP, but I probably would have wanted to smack you when you were little.
l0v3p4in 7
Smack the parents for letting them listen to it, especially if the kid is preschool or younger. Smack the hell out of the parents.
hayleyjames 0
Why? When kids sing songs that are sexual, they don't know what the meanings are, and why should they, it's innocent, I'm sorry but that's just stupid!
swimmersrok 0
I really dont understand how why you would want to slap a child for being innocent. I personally think that its better if a child is singing a dirty song and has no idea what it means, rather than knowing what the song is talking about. That would just be creepy.
dblogic 19
Love your profile pic!! My mastiff sits on the couch like that all the time :)
Brittdance 0
This could be almost any song..
SettoFail 9
No it couldn't.
downtime 13
Maybe where she grew up they just had an odd taste in music...
4everblackjack 10
My favorite childhood song was Candy Shop by 50 cent. I knew something was wrong when I said that in summer camp & all the consolers looked at me weirdly.. Oh well.
attatood 8
consolers? You mean the counselors were consoling you?
4everblackjack 10
Aha no, they liked to call themselves consolers or mentors (sometimes even boss) when in reality they were just bored teenagers volunteering to get hours.
Swiftly 0
50 cent used to be the shit.
McDonaldsworker 4
O SHIT OP! That is so messed up! Where did you even hear this song when you were a kid? What song is it anyway?
Allornone 35
Frankie says relax?
perdix 31
I'm thinking it's the Christmas song, "Deck the Halls" Decking halls with boughs? Trolling carols? Donning gay apparel? I knew there had to be something weird about it with all of the strange words. Am I right? Is there a prize?
Furrywhiplash 14
Your prize is my thumb pointing in an upward direction. Enjoy.
BostonBruinsFan 8
Up where? Your one dick?
androiddestroya 7
at 100, do guys usually not have just one? o.o
RedPillSucks 33
Mutant "BostonBruinsFan". I actually owned a pair of pants with two zippers (no, there wasn't one in the back).
MiBFTo 0
If you seriously did not know what that song meant like 20 years ago when everyone else figured it out, then you totally deserve it.
kateateyou 6
46, if OP first heard it 20 years ago, when they were really young they wouldn't have got the meaning. Any time afterwards they also might not have thought too deeply about what it means.. until now.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
46- Because 5 year olds know about anal sex and trying not to ****** right?
downtime 13
It would be amusing if OP is 19.
StreetReaper 9
Relax came out more than 20 tears ago. I remember crushing my orange, day-glo clad, 15 year old girlfriend's heart, when I told her the song she loved so much was about delaying an ****** during gay sex. Yes people, it is about gay sex. Not just about anal sex. Oh, and for the guy who thought the song was Turning Japanese, That song was about masturbation and the face you make when you climax.
scrnnmeusr 0
Looked it up it is Frankie goes to Hollywood - relax
akiahara 14
relax.. don't do it.. when you wanna..... I think this is a good thing. welcome to adulthood. this is also a good song.