Today, I was supposed to be let the bull out of the trailer and head straight home. Someone didn't latch the gate, so it just walked through between pastures. The bull and a cow went through, a horse broke into the cow lot, and another horse had a meltdown and wiped out in mud after trying to jump the fence. I don't like beef cattle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML
Today, I was at a rodeo warming up while my mom unnecessarily bragged about my training skills to a client. My horse then threw me into a gate at a full gallop, in front of everyone. That was the first time he'd ever misbehaved. FML
Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I was visiting friends in the country, and the property next to theirs has cows. Bored, I walked over to the fence and looked at a cow, who trundled over to the other side of the fence. I then saw the farmer staring at me and for some reason I said, "Just saying hi to your cow!" FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML
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Top comments
Grizz8831 14
if ywhat you are doing relies on someone else doing their job right, double check their work to the best of your ability. CYA. against what people will tell you, parent included, the "you touched it last" plays a huge role in assigning blame and who gets to fix things. never trust the person before you did everything right, they are human and can easily mess up or forget.
brown.chicken.brown.cow 5
Anytime you deal with farm animals, you check the gates and fences before letting them out. Rule 101. Cows are fantastic at finding the weak point
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Comments (2)
Grizz8831 14
if ywhat you are doing relies on someone else doing their job right, double check their work to the best of your ability. CYA. against what people will tell you, parent included, the "you touched it last" plays a huge role in assigning blame and who gets to fix things. never trust the person before you did everything right, they are human and can easily mess up or forget.
brown.chicken.brown.cow 5
Anytime you deal with farm animals, you check the gates and fences before letting them out. Rule 101. Cows are fantastic at finding the weak point