Today, my boyfriend's dog, which he got even though he knew I was allergic, literally got in between us while we were having sex. He didn't stop and got mad when I did. Now I'm itchy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
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Top comments
skippydoda 32
He knew that you are allergic and still choose a dog... Honey, that's a sign. When you had an allergic reaction he was mad because you wouldn't have sex with him... Honey, that's a sign. LEAVE HIM!
Lennie Mcfish 19
That's a sign to leave.
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Comments (8)
Leeono 26
That’s sounds ruff. I would have collared him. That’s not the type of boning he should be interested in. Any more paw puns?!
Lennie Mcfish 19
That's a sign to leave.
wanted_2_want 40
That was a wild kind of threesome.
skippydoda 32
He knew that you are allergic and still choose a dog... Honey, that's a sign. When you had an allergic reaction he was mad because you wouldn't have sex with him... Honey, that's a sign. LEAVE HIM!
real life problems 26
What does honey have to do with it? Bees are dying at an alarming rate you know
skippydoda 32
I'm allergic to bees so good riddance (I actually don't feel this way)
AXel2169 23
Your boyfriend sounds like a dick
mssileas 25
Whyyyy are y'all in relationships with people who can't even be bothered with being considerate of your basic health?? Leave him to share the bed with his dog and get you someone who values you enough to not let you break out in allergic reactions for the sake of his weiner. JFC.
Stephanie Claire 12
Eh the dog is probably better company anyway