Quickshot

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

Frustrated at work

Today, my guy finally got his brother out of their house so we could try and get busy. It was going okay when he tried to put on a condom. It got soft. We messed around a little longer tried again. Then a third time. I finally just started to get dressed and he took me to work. FML

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

Bad start

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

Timing

Today, my boyfriend came out of the closet. In the middle of us having sex. FML