Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML
Today, it's the fifth time this week alone I've attempted to explain to my boyfriend that I need more than just two minutes of foreplay to get horny. He tells me he's too tired, but is apparently not too tired to receive head and then have sex afterwards. FML
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Top comments
Anonymous874598 0
Have you tried sucking his dick before sex ?
CallMeHush 1
What is he like 90?
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Comments (57)
xgamer_girlx 0
um...i think you're the one with the problem. turning on a guy is easy as turning on the stove
ragsy 7
Welcome to middle age!
tudor_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah you're clearly doing something wrong. lazy bitch.
KamilleBlack 3
How is it her fault that her boyfriend is a two pump chump?
MarleyAcoustic 0
Ha! He's gay.
brucesgirl 0
was he stressed? depressed? these conditions can affect an errection
mw2isbeast 0
maybe he doesn't like u
boomer_chick 0
had that same problem... turns out he wasn't attracted to me! guess the old saying is wrong the grass is greener on the other side!
sensboltsfan84 4
you must be dating my ex. in all seriousnesd though, I feel your pain :(
lipstudcentral 0
ditto.
miZscrZee 0
Maybe u don't turn him on;; he has to find SOMETHING to make it hard. poor you.):