Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house, I heard him shout, "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, get back here!" He was talking to his cat who'd run out the door behind me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
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Top comments
Airman1988 9
If that's all it takes to break his concentration he has a lot of disappointment heading his way for the future, what an ass
whyusofat 17
Pretty sure thats what you call "pussy problems".
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Comments (189)
mgkgambino 3
Put it outside, and he'll put it inside..
TB1_fml 14
Yeah...he is a douchebag. But, I'll bet next time you will put the cat outside
derskittles 5
Not like there should be a next time if he is such a dick that he thinks that leaving the cat inside warrants calling her a selfish bitch.
bknicley 2
That sucks it's not your fault though
TheMysticSilas 0
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! :)
FMLVP 0
That is him just being a jerk
CarouselHeart 11
Dumphimdumphimdumphimdumphim. Seriously, calling you a selfish bitch because YOU DIDN'T PUT THE CAT OUT? What a douche!
alextherussian 0
Leave him!!!!
monique8axel 6
You should have grabbed the cat, kissed it and say how much it's a better person
Herculesninja27 5
What a dirt bag lol
gracehi 33
"Hi. I'm a red flag. Nice to meet you. Oh, by the way, DUMP HIS ASS!!!"