Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house, I heard him shout, "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, get back here!" He was talking to his cat who'd run out the door behind me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Airman1988 9
If that's all it takes to break his concentration he has a lot of disappointment heading his way for the future, what an ass
whyusofat 17
Pretty sure thats what you call "pussy problems".
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (189)
tinysocks 11
He's an ass.
rocketiquette 20
You have a pussy you dont need another one. I hope you told him to **** off
Sarahcastic 7
Why are you with someone who would even consider calling you a "selfish bitch" for something so trivial (or at all, for that matter)? Sounds like he's the type who turns out to be an abuser, seriously.
guerillazinsuits 1
Meow.
gigi03 5
Yeah I'm sure that wasn't making love
Genoc123 5
Prob are a bitch lol
pagullarka 9
I'm sorry to say this but your boyfriend is someone else's girlfriend, when he couldn't perform he found some reason to get mad and stop what he was doing. Good luck with the next one.
Jasonf6 0
Your BF is a fuckwad.
KungFuWater 3
Tell him the cat wanted to join in. Then he could say he banged two ******* at once! Yeah I know... that was in bad taste.
vale92 5
U should have put him outside instead, he sound like complete dush, just say NEXT