Today, after giving a homeless guy some change, he offered to give me his bottle of cooking wine if I'd let him suck my toes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML
Today, at 6am I was waiting for the tram to go home from my late night job. A homeless man came up to me and offered to buy me a beer because "guys like us have to stick together." FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lexos 16
So how's the wine?
Davros 12
THAT'S DISGUSTING. I mean who knows where your toes have been. You might have stepped in dog shit.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
lexos 16
So how's the wine?
RichardPencil 32
That is so gross! I feel sorry for you. Cooking wine? Ick! As a consolation, you can PM me a pic of your feet, Miss Sexy Toes, rawr ;)
Dave_Davington 34
I bet if you let him suck your nips, he might even give you his favourite pair of underwear.
Joshua Latta 5
Why would you turn that situation into an FML unless you went through with it?
Zekfen 17
He was hungry and you denied the poor man a proper meal of toe jam. What is the world coming to?
Davros 12
THAT'S DISGUSTING. I mean who knows where your toes have been. You might have stepped in dog shit.
fde2blknimout 18
So what did you cook for dinner?
wHSKitty 11
Ewwwwe