Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an emergency appendectomy, so I texted my boss to let him know about the situation. He replied that it'd be good for my continued employment prospects if I came into work tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML
Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML
Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML
Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML
Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You should volunteer to be an organ donor. Tell her you'd be happy to give her the finger.
fmyinternet 13
Ask her for some "tips" on how to explain the situation
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Comments (60)
soulreaper12296 28
Text or call your boss back right away and explain the situation.
Namenlos_fml 20
Hopefully OP has her boss's digits
justplainawkwrd 22
Considering she was responding to a text msg from her boss... I think it's safe to say she has her "digits".
gemstone586 12
I got it, #38.
Eliiara 11
Good lord even if she's a bitch that's a ******* nightmare. And I'd be extremely upset with my boyfriend if he did something so immature and impulsive like that.
Namenlos_fml 20
Even if she's mad, she probably won't be able to put her finger on why.
SteveDudleyUK 10
I might have text "Look on the bright side, it will stop you picking your nose....but how did you text the message?"
its_hereditary 7
I'm not understanding all of the comments about how did she text. When is the last time you saw someone text with their fingers? OP didn't say she lost the tips of her thumbs.
amandasoushek 16
I'm playing the Evil Within right now and this gives me the spooks
GrumpyGrinch 23
Sure the FML is about the text. But look at the bigger picture. Bitch indefinitely away, maybe she changes her professional area altogether. Why can't my bitch of a boss do the same? FML :(
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
We're not hearing the real story here. How did OP's boss lose four fingertips in a chainsaw accident!
mrBearBear 11
Hopefully you've texted her explaining the situation instead of just complaining about your boss & your bf
zykrithium 22
Sounds like your boyfriend loves to comment on FML