Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, I told my dad I wasn’t feeling well, to which his response was to interrupt me and say, “Nope. Not buying it.” I have never faked an illness in my life, and this time I vomited in front of my entire class. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
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Top comments
asianchink 0
It's deserved.
RBntM 10
You deserve it for not believing him !
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Comments (78)
DaKillaMafia 2
Serves you well. Good day to you sir/ma'am.
ladyLALAA 29
If he is faking, damn he's good at it.
Jonkbaby 23
I've seen a vid of this kind of thing. I feel shame
perdix 31
Good actor! My dad used to say that he would squeeze bars of soap under his armpits and that could make a thermometer measure a fever. We knew not to fake around him ;) The appearance of real symptoms doesn't mean the disease isn't fake. Yet the vomiting shows real dedication to the craft of faking.
ladyLALAA 29
Does the soap thing really work?
perdix 31
I looked it up and it supposedly needs to be lye soap. Back when my late dad was a kid, lye soap was more commonly available. Not that you'd use this information for evil, right?
luccmon 6
Perdix has all the best and most informative comments, as always, good sir.
Luckyman22 5
Well that's what you get for assuming.
BeatifulPenguin 4
Instant karma!
courtneeymac 4
Well, he showed you !
VictoriaSchultz 8
Paybacks a bitch.
micahsmommy 13
Well he's either sick or has an eating disorder. Either way best to take him to a doctor.
jujubunni5 9
Hey! Not every kid is that one chick who pretended to have a sore throat and go home!