Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You're going to have shitty kids.
Paramorefan2 1
wow. that sucks. she's stupid.
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Comments (432)
felisdomestica 2
well, she's smart enough to use birth control and using everything else to prevent unwanted condition. she probably isn't that dumb, not nearly as dumb as those who got knocked up and infected by STDs (accidentally?) she's just really, really paranoid
totti180 6
hahahahahaha thats funny
sin211 0
YDI FOR DATING & ******* A COMPLETE RETARD
jtdm25 2
u deserve it for having a stupid girlfriend!
atills 0
you are obviously dating a dumbass bitch. congrats :)
drewhan 2
slap her back lol
imnotcraZ 0
maybe its a day before her time of the month
niggazay 1
1. The condom can break. 2. Some asshole can switch the pills. 3. Its possible to get pregnant while doing anal.
conorshykesh 4
Oh my you're stupid. Guess you didn't pay attention in Human Biology, huh?
softball1432 0
ugh.. gross.. anal sex.. just makes me curious to know if you're gay.. Try the ****** next time.. you just might like it
lawdog82 1
she happen to be blond?