Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You're going to have shitty kids.
Paramorefan2 1
wow. that sucks. she's stupid.
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Comments (432)
SnoBorder4Life 0
She sounds like a keeper.
damoki 8
Wow........ Was she raised in a box?? A dark isolated box?? That's beyond dumb or blonde I say run while you can!
BethOSUBeavers 6
Anal sex doesn't prevent pregnancy, there's about 14% Chance of failure in male condoms(21% in female) and about 8% in birth control if you remember to take it. Hopefully those two together should be better, but your #3 is never a good way to prevent pregnancy. It's a myth, you can get pregnant through anal sex.
mowmowlife 21
Male condoms have a 99% failure rate, considering you know how to use them. You cannot get pregnant from anal sex. It's not physically possible.
homes7d 14
1% chance during anal
Albarufus 13
She should never have Kids.
maddisonNicole 3
119 hahaha! I actually laughed at that and then spat rice everywhere :) it was worth it.
randyclark1997 4
so u still got anal be happy :)
ittybitttyme 8
Well, time for a new girlfriend... If you don't know how sex works, you shouldn't be having it :/
mkcherry 14
Im surprised by how many people think you can somehow get pregnant from anal sex. If semen does not enter the vaginal canal you cannot get pregnant, end of story. Considering anal sex only includes putting the penis in her anus and she cannot get pregnant through her intestinal walls, I would say you're pretty safe. The only way you can get pregnant through anal sex (according to the CDC website) is if seminal fluid leaks from the anus into the ****** (hard to do even with gravity) and event then the risk is so low it is negligible. Im shocked at the lack of knowledge of basic anatomy on this site. Even more shocked to think so many of you are probably adults having sex and you don't even know about your own bodies.
ENomine18 9
Who wears a condom for anal?
The_9th_Doctor 18
anal with a rubber? where's the fun in that?
kunjac0945 21
Not getting herpes is pretty rad.