Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You're going to have shitty kids.
Paramorefan2 1
wow. that sucks. she's stupid.
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Comments (432)
allyisapenguin 0
YDI for not pulling out. lol. No, forreal..she just wanted to hit you.
Itzrenaynay 0
ur gf is a dip shit
fmlmang 0
condoms and pills are good, but you can still get pregnant doing anal
t0m_fml 0
can I **** her?
felton 0
Peta . LMAO . Her IQ Is probly .000036 . Or whatever the number was. LOL .
Lisa89 3
firstly: ewww anal. lol; sorry; but that kind of thing defo isn't for me personally 2. And clearly she doesn't understand probability. 99% effectiveness of using condom, 99% effectiveness using pill; I'm going to guess 80% effectiveness from anal; 3/4 chance of not being fertile during that time, 3/4 chance of being naturally aborted after a few days anyway. I'm not good enough at maths to work that out as a probability... >.< 1/16 000 000 chance I think? 3. If she was that scared of getting pregnant.. she shouldn't be having any kind of sex anyway.
Lisa89 3
1/8 000 000? more correct probability? I dunno... I wouldn't know where to begin to work it out...
mowmowlife 21
0% probability seeing there's absolutely no way you can get pregnant from anal because the reproductive system is not connected to your anus.
pmr1990 12
Sperm are crafty buggers. There's always chances of a 1 inch spill...
zxpr0jk 0
Hahahahahaa. FYL: For having a girlfriend that stupid. YDI: For having a girlfriend that stupid.
ChiefLancaster 0
You should of popped a viagra, and bent her over for round 2,, took that ass one more time, keep her around if she likes anal sex,, does she give ya a dirty sanchez afterwards??? Ya know straight from the anal cavity to her mouth?
ChiefLancaster 0
If she gets pregnant from Anal sex, it will be a Democrat.. LOL
dm055727 0
LMAO!!!! damn that girl is stupid!