Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
Today, after I'd saved a baby mouse and was filming a YouTube series of me taking care of it, my boyfriend told me he found a “rat” in the kitchen, but not to worry he killed it and fed it to the cat. He killed my baby mouse, and now he’s mad I didn’t praise him for his brilliant extermination job. FML
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML
Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
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Top comments
Fire_Starter 0
Can you really train a mouse to not piss on people?
ohmyword08 0
that sucks, don't zoo people have name tags and a uniform ?
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Comments (75)
marshmallowmouse 0
mice don't have control over where they pee or poop, lol. Also, if it was a male, they kinda just dribble it out everywhere they go intentionally, and it reeks, to mark their territory from other bucks. XD
greenrapsody 0
you got trolled SO hard.
BobbyHutchinson 0
the guy didnt work there, hilairous
HighLife19 0
Haha. You should have expected that for putting a rodent on you're head.
_electricbonbon 0
YDI for mentioning your boyfriend when he wasn't pertinent to the FML at all.
giganticbrain 0
Agreed completely. You sound like an obnoxious, gloating, whoring asshole (the person that wrote this FML, not #36).
ALlamaOnFire 20
Says the guy called giganticbrain
teiso_fml 0
Wash your hair, problem solved.
avfcfan89 0
haha, that is actually funny. if i was your bf, i would have been laughing at you for buying into what that guy said.
Aha09 1
He also reassured me that you are extremely gullible and that you fall for BS quite well.
ActionManly 11
Looks like Petting Zoos are the new "In" FML. YDI just for posting this so soon as the other one
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
I thought it said moose at first, so I was completely baffled for a few seconds before I reread it.