Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him. FML
Today, my husband has recently discovered prostate play. He is now using my sextoys to pleasure himself and not telling me until after. He doesn't see the problem. FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML
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Top comments
yourlifesfucked 0
tell him thats cuz ur hand only has to move 2 inches.
LoginUnknown 0
Maybe he isn't the one doing something wrong. She might not contribute in any way and he's just not that into humping a lifeless body.
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Comments (72)
devilbear_fml 0
maybe you should put out more
beer01 0
Offer him a ******** or ride his stick. You'll enjoy and he won't complain.
letsgobucks 0
amen brother. I bet ur still bitchiness at him!
heyred 11
Why didn't you join in? It sounds as though, to you, intimacy with your husband is at night, lights off, missionary position - and that's it. Who wouldn't get tired of that?
fukyolife 0
the hand never complains and always njoys it... but if ur lookn 4 a good time I'm available xoxo ;)
kuntageous 0
lol. that's actually truthful and funny.
bugmenotmofo 34
At least he's honest. Don't question him about it if you don't want to hear the answer.
christianello 0
I'll second that
goonie85 0
YDI if you didn't go slob on that knob. You wanted some dick, well there it is. Become a skilled **** goblin. Things will perk up.
tonyhenz 0
then satisfy him