Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cleaning my recently late uncle's house. I found an old framed photo of a boy aged about 3. He's naked and shyly smiling to the camera, holding a heart-shaped sign that reads, "My penis is small, but my love is BIG." I showed it to my mom and asked who it was. She just snorted and said, "You were his favorite!" FML
Today, my 72 year-old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with homemade signs all day, campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me to ask if she was high. FML
Today, my grandpa saw one of the paintings in the guest room at my house. "What the fuck?" he snorted, then said whoever painted it should "stick to their damn day job". I painted it. FML
Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML
Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML
Today, I realised that American political BS is even in countries as far away as my own when I drove past a "Trump won" sign on my way home from work. FML
Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
Dicks Sporting Goods: Buy our balls.
justsayfuck 5
That's pretty awesome.
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Comments (112)
MrSexyPants 14
He definitely won that election.
moomoocrazychick 0
correction you mean erection
perdix 31
What should disgust you is that your mom made up the slogans.
Xtranormalful 0
lol
hatepineapple 14
Your grandfather is a total boss. Rating YDI because you're even CONSIDERING being ashamed about this.
cc_the_beast 6
Seconded.
rallets 23
eh
Quest_ 13
Are you sure you didn't mean ERECTION posters?! Oh yeah
CDigital_32 0
And we all thought the 50's were up tight and frowned on that. Well played Granddad. Well played.
Gigglebear 9
There's no 'r' in election...
Ferretface 13
Does this actually have to be explained to you?
technicolourain1 0
lol. I wonder If you're just stupid, or if you're trying to be adorable.
Gigglebear 9
*face palm* OMFG! It was a joke. Are you kidding me Ferretface? No it doesn't have to be explained. Punch yourself in the face.
alunamoon 7
there is if you're Japanese!
Mirorbo 27
Well, back then, I'm pretty sure everything wasn't so censored. So that would be considered clever rather than offensive.
redbluegreen 41
I'm pretty sure that in the 50s it wasn't really an issue. President Richard Nixon, who served from 1969 to 1974, was nicknamed "Dick" and I don't think anyone really made the connection between him and a penis. Even the grandpa might not have made the connection.
perdix 31
Bush's VP was DICK Cheney and I think he chose that on purpose! Back in the 50's, "dick" was often slang for a detective.
ImInABox 6
There should've been one like.. "Dick does the hard work."
noahlazarowski 0
read this in spongebobs voice