Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cleaning my recently late uncle's house. I found an old framed photo of a boy aged about 3. He's naked and shyly smiling to the camera, holding a heart-shaped sign that reads, "My penis is small, but my love is BIG." I showed it to my mom and asked who it was. She just snorted and said, "You were his favorite!" FML
Today, my 72 year-old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with homemade signs all day, campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me to ask if she was high. FML
Today, my grandpa saw one of the paintings in the guest room at my house. "What the fuck?" he snorted, then said whoever painted it should "stick to their damn day job". I painted it. FML
Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML
Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML
Today, I realised that American political BS is even in countries as far away as my own when I drove past a "Trump won" sign on my way home from work. FML
Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
Dicks Sporting Goods: Buy our balls.
justsayfuck 5
That's pretty awesome.
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Comments (112)
justsayfuck 5
That's pretty awesome.
chuckychan 8
hah hah hah was he asian ? get it election haha erection? dick joke ahaha
chuckychan 8
haha was he like asain? har har har cuz like election. and erection. ahaha dick jokes.
DishHeads 9
so, did your grandpa get 'erected' ?
mbishop94479 4
Sadly, no. OP is from Australia. If OP was from Asia, there would be a chance, though.
macca1234 1
this is hardly an FML... that is AWESOME!!
iSitt 0
is there an antiques road show in Australia?
firefail1031 0
icwutudidthar..,, haha nice
chiddy_bang71 0
vote dicks. change will cum.
BigOrca 2
will the change cum soon or take hours? days? months? or years?
noahlazarowski 0
#47 I was going to say that
itsharkley 8
Dickinson cuz that's where it belong
NeatNit 33
I misread it as 'erection'. it made a lot more sense.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Guess everyone wanted the D.
Friaza 29
since he didn't get elected i'd say disgusted would over-rule impressed.
Eaglestrike117 29
How could you possibly know he wasn't elected?
Friaza 29
You can tell.
pink_raindrops 26
What exactly was said that gave that away?
SayItNicely 0
Are you a teenage boy or a senior citizen?
SpicyDuck 22
I don't think he was running son, I think they were for who he was voting for.
Friaza 29
I wonder what he'd have done if he was elected...
konjaman 0
don't you mean erected???
MrCatman1125 2
No, I think not,
coocoloky 12
Yes 138, exactly what I was thinking!
saIty 17
Dicks Sporting Goods: Buy our balls.
KBugg19 0
this literally made my laugh out loud.
Sessyann 1
Lol
HeyImJuli 3
I litterally loled at this :) nicee one
sexybabe198 0
hhahahahahah lmao
bjr1208 3
Dicks sporting goods: we have all your balls.
ismaithliomtae 1
how is that an FML, sounds brilliant!
sxe_beast 11
I like Dick :). So would've voted for him...
cptcook 0
fagg...
ipodlover1995 0
I don't like Dick. I prefer his opponent, ****.
snowboarder531 5
I thought his opponent was Mike Hunt.?
taticalnNinja 5
Hey dicks sporting goods new slogans
ArielTheMermaid 17
lol
proski 0
dicks: we got balls
metallicshadow 16
i bet he did that on purpose. i would have so voted for him lol
PlasmaVirus 4
ASIAN MAN APPROVE OF ERECTION POSTARZ.