Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I woke up after being sick from the flu and tried to get out of bed. I forgot I was in a bunk bed and broke my ankle in the fall down. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I was sitting on my younger sister's bed while I was on my phone. She came in the room and pushed me off the bed, and I ended up slicing the skin under my eye. Now, my parents are forcing me to pay for the injury for "hanging off the bed". FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
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Top comments
lil_lucy23 0
is this your "coming out" post? if so, congratulations! :)
studentwoes 2
I will never understand why so many people who post on FML feel the need to write just awkward sentences. Why not just write "when Miss Virginia was crowned Miss America"?
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Comments (238)
Bl4ck_1c3 2
fail
igetinyourpants 0
First
iCrazie 0
no sir epic fail
Bl4ck_1c3 2
omg I was first... my parents would be so proud
tomc666 0
wall it's your fault u dumbutt ass pirate why wer u watch it in ferst place!!!!
deadsrs 0
you don't consider yourself a "mans man" do you op? lol
igetinyourpants 0
stfu
npk88 0
off yourself
OMGoriginality 0
LOL #69 EPIC WIN
qb3333 0
I'm pretty sure all the executives of FML do is go through the comments and laugh at how retarted these arguments are.
pwincessa23 1
Agree
jmcvey02 0
Hey Tomc666, how about you learn how to spell before you speak. Also, why would you watch the show in the first place? Your fault.
Okie7123 0
You're also going to be posting an FML when you get your hospital bill...
tedwin223 0
epic first comment
ShadowzI 0
true that
Bizzatch 0
you're also an idiot.
Misty3242 0
Jeeez harsh man
megastupid 0
u were not first
megastupid 0
w8 nevermind. I was tired and not reading usernames
bradsr0138 0
no sir, I believe you are mistaken about the "man" part!
sukhdeep 4
Wow...FAIL!
jtm333 0
this is a fail so epic, it's almost a win
ihatedads 0
fail x2
omgcookeys 15
I bet you're still a "Virginia" ;D
Volcan_fml 22
OP, screw what everyone says. You don't have to be a woman to enjoy pageants, and you don't have to be gay. **** gender roles, do what makes you happy.
elishaax 0
lmfao xD
mfmylifesrsly 30
he forgot to mention gay
screwball111 0
this is not gay! I think it's manly! I love miss America! I look forward to it more than the American idol season finale! :) ~ yur welcome!
Starchild21 3
Holy shit if you're not wearing makeup and sporting a tramp stamp!
igetinyourpants 0
I am in love with #68
Starchild21 3
/ Wow another creep has just been made
igetinyourpants 0
okay red neck..
WreckerGirl 4
Why would he be gay??? Miss America pageants are full of smoking hot women. He probably wanted to get his jollys off to Miss Virginia.
packerboy1280 0
haha ya prob wad
iwadasn 33
It's not that he was watching it, it's that he was so concerned about who won.
xdudx 0
failx3
lil_lucy23 0
is this your "coming out" post? if so, congratulations! :)
monsieur 0
lmao! I could not stop laughin at this comment
strawberry6826 0
lmfaoo this definitely made me laugh.
brink0war 3
Epic failure...
Taylorrr123 0
any enormego fmlers here?
coco0123 0
ouuta all of dese comments no1 mentioned ah "feel bettah" or "ouch" .. lmfao .. anywayy buddy ; feel bettah ;X
loki35 0
I don't get it..
Starchild21 3
That's because you're retarded. However we can speak in a better sense for you: DERRRR DUM DUM DIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
cindebaby 0
lmfao
kile88 2
you're hot. lol
KaylieBieber13 0
u r ****** upp!!!
Candissimo 13
I don't either
CronosDage 0
8! FAIL
Caayouteepie 0
failx4
p4z9a 0
haha your gay