Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML
Today, my kid's dad grumbled and complained about having to help me out buying clothes for him, because he was sure he just gave me money for clothes last year. I thought it would be fairly obvious that a 4 year-old would eventually need bigger clothes to accommodate the fact they are still growing. FML
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
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Top comments
honeycutt8729 8
Hilarious
SoSickWithIt 14
..What is that mysterious ticking noise? ..Snape. ..Snape... Severus Snape. ..Harry Potter, Harry Potter! :D
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Comments (645)
sleet7 4
Why would you present her with clothing if you didn't want to set her free?
THE_A_TEEN 28
It was a Harry Potter reference. It doesn't mean OP's daughter is enslaved by OP, like some people here think.
sleet7 4
You don't say?
sleet7 4
It's a good thing we have you here to clarify things for the rest of us.
musicman439 2
Your daughter is my hero.
pieceoschmidt 8
Read the FML again and keep this in mind, where does it say she bought the jeans because of the years of cleaning, OP is simply putting the situation into context for us so we can understand why this is a FML, think about it if she had left out the first line it wouldn't be much of a FML, just a strange daughter; however, since she had included context we can laugh but all everyone seems to want to do is berate the OP for not being a good parent. When I was younger my rewards for doing the chores was few and far between, anything I had I bought myself, which I personally thank my parents for because it taught me to first buy the things I needed before I buy the things I want, a trait that seems to be dwindling with the collective intelligence of todays generation. BTW OP you are in no way a bad parent and that is a funny daughter you got.
KaeSAL 11
It makes so much more sense now. Her daughter was implying she wasn't going to do chores anymore.
marissarenee0225 0
Except it says after several years of work she bought her a pair of jeans. She didnt say as a reward for helping for a week. She said several years and she bought her a pair. I think her daughters comment was well deserved to her
pieceoschmidt 8
You can't expect the wording to be perfect, this FML was translated from French. The term "lost in translation" doesn't just refer to a movie. It doesn't mean OPs' daughter is dressing up in rags enduring years of servitude before getting a single pair of Jeans.
vikkialex 0
I think you should take her shopping...
UnicornInSpace 6
Oh God, haven't you let her go shopping alone? Not weire she's happy to finally get to by jeans alone.
sleet7 4
What???
r21s03 0
Get over it, it's call humor. No reason for an fml.
magoogle225 4
I do things like this a lot, so I find this hilarious. This girl has a great sense of humor. I think I may do this and see how my parents react. People saying she is a bad mother need to read carefully and not jump to wild conclusions. She just bought her daughter a new pair of jeans, it doesn't mean she never buys her clothes. She probably promised her a great pair of jean in exchange for chores. My family did things like this when I was younger. If this girl was a few years older, she sounds like someone i'd like to date.
thefmlman2011 37
no.5: correction, harry potter... doughnut.
mega00ant 0
This is not a "FML" this is pure win.
shepandabear123 0
seriously? if i was her i would have punched you the hardest i can because new jeans arent worth several years of chores. and also you.should be buying her new clothes anyways!