Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
Today, I was going for a walk and I kept smelling pee wherever I went. After about an hour, I finally figured out that the smell was me. My dog had peed on my sweatshirt. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML
Today, I woke up with a stinky smell piercing my nose. Yesterday there was a party at my boss’s house, where I got super drunk and passed out. When I regained consciousness, I realized my panties were wet, my pants were wet, and, of course, the bed was wet. I’m 21 years old. FML
Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
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Top comments
qwertsarecool122 23
I'd be pissed
kyarush 10
Looks like urine a bad situation!
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Comments (124)
qwertsarecool122 23
I'd be pissed
Nekogami 14
Pissed on or off exactly?? :o
qwertsarecool122 23
Both really...
kyarush 10
Looks like urine a bad situation!
eyeIoveyou 4
i wouldn't really be upset with my boyfriend unless i talked to him about it beforehand. sometimes, people pee in their sleep because of night traumas and other reasons. you really can't help yourself sometimes and if he didn't want to talk about it, it isn't a surprise that he lied about it. :S
boydeee01 7
Reminds me of the time in second grade, when one of my friends spent the night. He slept on an extra bed and it was completely soaked. He said he just "sweats alot", when it was obviously pee. I just pretended to believe him, so that he wouldn't be embarrassed.
asoptavlo14 6
Yeah these old ones are pissing me off.
imaginaryvoice 18
I'm not going to lie, OP's name looked like "don't pee on men" to me at first.
unitedfan11 0
Hey like they always say "it's better to be pissed off than pissed on"
KittySaysMoo 6
At least he didn't get it on you...?
farnsworth 3
There's a party in my pants and urine.......vited! ;)
theten_fml 9
At least he didn't say, "There were snickers on the bed"
Jonkbaby 23
poidh
lissmiss98 0
Hahahaha(:
lebronesque73091 12
Maybe it was your piss o.o
XxHoPPoxX 8
Best movie
lilpowers 3
Pun intended?
ninjacapo 2
Lmfao nice pun. Be it accidental or on pourpous i respect it
crazytiger345 0
I Once Was An Adventure Like You.. Until I Took An Arrow To The Knee.
monkekka 0
Ew... How old is he?!
ilikeapplejuice 7
I dont think thats important considering he pissed in his sleep and didnt have the courtesy of least telling his girlfriend.
EatnBeef 7
At least you did wake up with a spider on your face OP
EatnBeef 7
And shit on his chest while he's a sleep mext time. That outta get the message through
flockz 20
that his chest looks like a waste receptacle?
FeroniaMoonscyth 2
Like a BOSS
notsorandomguy 18
At least it's just that. Could've been worse. But then again, FYL op
EatnBeef 7
Not funny 45.
DavLynn 4
HAHAHA!! ..... No.
behemoth198 0
59, everyone else likes it when he does. You aren't funny at all.
RadiantDawn93 0
I mean, whether it's funny or not, having a post just to say is not funny every time is pretty pointless. If you don't like it just press thumbs down.
ninjuh_wingman 29
If it really was sweat I'd wonder why he'd sweat so much at night.
Stonedmanalex 0
My best friend always wakes up covered in sweat, its usally freezing in the room were sleeping in. I think it just happens naturally for some people.
Stonedmanalex 0
Unless hes been secretly pissing himself. Im going to ask
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
I love when OP's create names that go with the fml they wrote.
LlamaMcSoulMamma 2
i'ts better to be pissed off then pissed on
instnt1nfction 17
At times like this, it's important to know the difference between "then" and "than"
Icejza_DaChilla 7
I was going to say the same thing.
Llamacod 11
Unless the only thing that calms his anger is a nice golden shower.
Lilbabynid3 3
That's just gross...
ICATiger 13
Get him adult diapers
almedalove 0
Some people need them
qwertsarecool122 23
Love your user name!
brick_man33 14
Golden showers, bring May flowers.