Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "To put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I once again have to attend a family gathering and never hear the end of, “Julie, you’re 33 and you still haven’t found a man?” What they don’t understand is that every time I pour my heart out to a guy, I always get the ladder kicked out from under me. As a result, I can’t get close to anyone anymore. FML
Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML
Today, I'm in the south of France and I was trying to impress a cute date at a coffee shop by ordering in what I thought was perfect French. He gave me a weird look, and the barista looked confused. Turns out, instead of ordering a "latte," I asked for "lait," which is just milk. I sat there awkwardly, sipping my cup of cold milk while he watched. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Today, I saw yet another dear friend from uni get married, living the good life in their new home. Here am I in my 30s, with no love life, and feeling like that's never going to be for me. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with a cute girl when I asked the barista, “Make mine just like hers.” It turns out she'd ordered a decaf soy lavender tea latte. I hate all of those words. FML
Today, I found myself watching Masterchef UK and was excited because there was an attractive female contestant. I then went on to imagine us getting married and being together forever. Man I am lonely, but more importantly need to get out more. FML
Today, I'm upset by my dating life. I want to be with a man romantically, but none I've met so far have worked out. Too dumb or boring or mean, so I've tried some dating sites. All my matches were with women, so I went on a date with one to "find out." Is it good or bad that I liked her more than any man so far? FML
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Top comments
AnOriginalName 19
Wow. I always put my sugar in my coffee before the milk, even before reading this. Maybe I'm a natural-born lover? Still wouldn't explain why I'm single, though.
tehdarkness 21
An even better reason to do sugar first is that the higher the temperature of the tea, the better the sugar will dissolve. Milk will cool it down a bit.
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Comments (91)
British_tea 2
Anyone that puts sugar in tea is a brain wrong
squideth 18
They're a "brain wrong"? Oookay then.
BirdieCurls 25
I can't even translate this into proper English.
JMichael 26
I doubt this is what defines your love life OP. Maybe you just need to go out and meet someone.
lufflala 6
Lol I feel like that was written to strongly discourage women from doing it that way... After all, if the sugar doesn't fully dissolve bc the milk cools it down, she might ruin the tea and displease her potential husband ;) ;)
suckceed 17
According to that dumv logic half of the UK would'nt be married. Myabe look at your internal issues, rather than blaming the MIF method for being loveless.
johnpaisley 6
If ur in America no guy likes tea if not ignore this
martin8337 36
OP, 23 is too young to get married. Enjoy life for a few years before settling down.
ambitiousnygrl 17
Agreed. I know people who got married and had kids right out of high school and, although they love their kids and significant other, they somewhat regret it because they missed out on being young and they were forced to grow up too fast.
jh921971 10
It's a beverage. Has no effect on your future relationships... Unless it's too much booze
Enslaved 38
"Do you take sugar? One lump or twooooo?" **I always put the sugar in my tea first only because it dissolves better the hotter the teas is. (: And milk (never cream, lol) in tea is surprisingly good! Odd that some have never tried it. :P
LPHeadstrong 8
Tea > Milk > Sugar. It's the natural order of things. I'm engaged but my gf uses sugar first... Maybe it cancelled my lack of etiquette out
LipStickTazer 2
I put in whichever is closer to me first and with the (horrible) layout of my kitchen, it's generally the milk and I'm happily engaged! To each their own OP, and don't worry, I'm sure there is someone out there for you!