Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "To put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I once again have to attend a family gathering and never hear the end of, “Julie, you’re 33 and you still haven’t found a man?” What they don’t understand is that every time I pour my heart out to a guy, I always get the ladder kicked out from under me. As a result, I can’t get close to anyone anymore. FML
Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML
Today, I'm in the south of France and I was trying to impress a cute date at a coffee shop by ordering in what I thought was perfect French. He gave me a weird look, and the barista looked confused. Turns out, instead of ordering a "latte," I asked for "lait," which is just milk. I sat there awkwardly, sipping my cup of cold milk while he watched. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Today, I saw yet another dear friend from uni get married, living the good life in their new home. Here am I in my 30s, with no love life, and feeling like that's never going to be for me. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with a cute girl when I asked the barista, “Make mine just like hers.” It turns out she'd ordered a decaf soy lavender tea latte. I hate all of those words. FML
Today, I found myself watching Masterchef UK and was excited because there was an attractive female contestant. I then went on to imagine us getting married and being together forever. Man I am lonely, but more importantly need to get out more. FML
Today, I'm upset by my dating life. I want to be with a man romantically, but none I've met so far have worked out. Too dumb or boring or mean, so I've tried some dating sites. All my matches were with women, so I went on a date with one to "find out." Is it good or bad that I liked her more than any man so far? FML
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Top comments
AnOriginalName 19
Wow. I always put my sugar in my coffee before the milk, even before reading this. Maybe I'm a natural-born lover? Still wouldn't explain why I'm single, though.
tehdarkness 21
An even better reason to do sugar first is that the higher the temperature of the tea, the better the sugar will dissolve. Milk will cool it down a bit.
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Comments (91)
littlem91 29
Yikes, at 23 you're practically an old maid! Your poor parents, unable to marry you off. Oh dear.
worldclassrager 41
It's just superstition or a ritual it means nothing...you are still very young and that person is out there looking for you....
tulha 12
Shit happens, OP. Don't worry too much, you're only 23 :)
lilacgold 16
I don't even take sugar, and I'm happily married. And my husband adds his sugar last. Don't worry about it!
TheAbstract 15
^Does this guy know how to party, or what?
SaturnV 25
You might consider bypassing the milk and sugar etiquette entirely and try your tea with lemon (a Russian custom). Unsweetened with lemon is my personal preference, but lemon + honey is a popular combination as well.
toxxickittyy 19
Theres so many weird FML's today but I believe this is the strangest. I've never heard of that, but it is something I also do and I'm married, you just have to keep your head in the game OP.
tranced_ 45
no no no the problem is that you drink tea!
tranced_ 45
OP, there exist people who don't drink tea or coffee and are happily married. be patient.
sarcasticlover 30
if u mean tea party then yes!