Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "To put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I once again have to attend a family gathering and never hear the end of, “Julie, you’re 33 and you still haven’t found a man?” What they don’t understand is that every time I pour my heart out to a guy, I always get the ladder kicked out from under me. As a result, I can’t get close to anyone anymore. FML
Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML
Today, I'm in the south of France and I was trying to impress a cute date at a coffee shop by ordering in what I thought was perfect French. He gave me a weird look, and the barista looked confused. Turns out, instead of ordering a "latte," I asked for "lait," which is just milk. I sat there awkwardly, sipping my cup of cold milk while he watched. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Today, I saw yet another dear friend from uni get married, living the good life in their new home. Here am I in my 30s, with no love life, and feeling like that's never going to be for me. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with a cute girl when I asked the barista, “Make mine just like hers.” It turns out she'd ordered a decaf soy lavender tea latte. I hate all of those words. FML
Today, I found myself watching Masterchef UK and was excited because there was an attractive female contestant. I then went on to imagine us getting married and being together forever. Man I am lonely, but more importantly need to get out more. FML
Today, I'm upset by my dating life. I want to be with a man romantically, but none I've met so far have worked out. Too dumb or boring or mean, so I've tried some dating sites. All my matches were with women, so I went on a date with one to "find out." Is it good or bad that I liked her more than any man so far? FML
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Top comments
AnOriginalName 19
Wow. I always put my sugar in my coffee before the milk, even before reading this. Maybe I'm a natural-born lover? Still wouldn't explain why I'm single, though.
tehdarkness 21
An even better reason to do sugar first is that the higher the temperature of the tea, the better the sugar will dissolve. Milk will cool it down a bit.
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Comments (91)
lalaney 14
You're an idiot.
buckdharma 38
I can teach you proper tea etiquette! Send a invitation out to a dandy of your fancy. If you would like to show him your garden then instruct him to wear a hat. Make sure he knows how to hold a cup. Extending your pinky finger is considered rude. He should instead place his index finger inside the cup up to his knuckle while placing his thumb on top to secure the cup. Try to avoid swirling the cup so as not to cause sloshing. By remembering a few simple rules a good time can be had by all. Just remember to dot your eyes and not slosh your teas!
JhovannyA 7
Sugar then milk. And relax. You are only 23 >.>
infinitegrace 21
This is one of the ones where I really just don't care. Some people don't get married until they are 40 something. You'll be fine.
DarthVader77 9
Before getting too upset remember: marriage is always a struggle. First, for unification, then for equality and finally for independence. You are at the end of the cycle without all the complications. And you can serve the tea any way you want :)
MotherOfDragons 1
nobody likes you when you're 23! (it's Blink-182, that's pop punk)
djPanda 8
Honey u is over selling your self mmmmmmmhhhhhhhh
mdcdeve 10
It's all preference, im from England and no one I know puts milk first.
PunkySpunky78 15
To the op I always put sugar then milk and I'm single f and 35
duckit 0
Ridiculous